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Q. You are the first certified nursing assistant to ever win this award. What do you think you do differently from other certified nursing assistants?

A. I think I just do my job. I do it from the bottom of my heart. I love my work.

Q. You seem to have a real connection with your patients.

A. I feel the connection with them as soon as I go into their house. I talk to them very soft. I feel the connection inside me. It’s something I have in me that I cannot explain.

Q. You said you don’t like to call them your patients. Why not?

A. I try to find the word to call them, because I don’t like to call them clients, or patients. Maybe: part of my family, something close to me. They come into my heart.

Q. When you first arrived in the United States from Guatemala as a teenager, you worked in a factory for 10 years. But you say that was not as emotionally fulfilling as your current work.

A. Really not. I tried to work every area that I could and I was feeling like I was wasting my time.

Q. Have you always had this gift for helping older people?

A. Since I was a kid in my country, I used to like to help everybody who needed my help.

Q. Are there any patients with whom you’ve developed a special relationship?

A. I’ve had more than one special relationship. Everybody is very close to my heart. Some patients are more clear in their mind, they don’t have dementia or something. They really know what’s going on with them. We have more conversation and more time talking together.

Q. Are patients with Alzheimer’s or dementia harder to connect with?

A. With the people [who] have dementia or sickness in their mind, I try to sing to them and talk very softly. I know they understand, but you have to find a way to talk to them. One person, she just passed away. I was singing to her every morning. She’d wake up and look at me and smile. That was something that [made me] feel good inside.

Q. As a hospice worker, you must know many patients who pass away. When you form such close connections with them, isn’t that particularly hard for you?

A. When they’re gone, I cry. My heart is not strong [enough] not to cry. I feel the stress, but then thinking about it, that I’m sooner or later going to be with them again [in heaven], and they’re in peace, and they’re not suffering - that makes me feel better.

Q. You said you are thinking about training to become a nurse now?

A. I want to be prepared better to help people.

Q. Many nursing assistants are probably not as positive about the work as you are. How do you stay so upbeat?

A. Probably they’re in the wrong place - it’s the wrong job for them. When I used to work in the company, sometimes I don’t want to go to work. But working with hospice is something that I love to do. And if I have to wake up at 4 o’clock in the morning, 3 o’clock in the morning, I don’t mind, I just do it.

Wellesley couple helps raise funds, friends and awareness for annual Hospice walk
By Staff reports | GateHouse News Service

Wellesley — Twenty-eight years ago, Circle of Caring at Hospice of the Good Shepherd cared for Wellesley resident John Sullivan’s wife. After being diagnosed with terminal cancer, a physician from Newton-Wellesley Hospital referred John and his family to Hospice. “At the time, I had no idea this type of service was available,” explains John. “The Hospice did an incredible job and the experience was life-changing.”

Years later, John met his current wife, Tobey. “John always spoke so highly of the Hospice,” states Tobey. “So in 2005, after retiring, I saw an ad for volunteers in the Townsman and thought, I’ll give this a try.” Tobey began volunteering in the summer of 2008. When Circle of Caring at Hospice of the Good Shepherd held its 30th Anniversary “Big Feat” Walk in September, Tobey and John willingly volunteered at one of the six checkpoints along the route. 

This year, Tobey and John are acting as Sponsorship Chairs of the “Big Feat” Walk Committee. They have sent more than 100 letters to local businesses and made many follow-up phone calls. “You get the most immediate response form people who have used hospice themselves. We are learning that people have different levels of awareness about hospice,” explains John.

When asked why she thinks the “Big Feat” Walk is important, Tobey was quick to answer. “I think as an agency, we have to present something to community members that they can participate in. And it helps to raise awareness. People really don’t know what hospice is.” 

Proceeds from the annual “Big Feat” Walk help bridge the gap between insurance reimbursement and the cost of the skilled, compassionate care provided by the Hospice. Circle of Caring at Hospice of the Good Shepherd’s team has provided quality end-of-life care to thousands of people and their families since the agency’s inception in 1978. The Hospice relies on the “Big Feat” Walk every year as one of its biggest fundraisers and “friendraisers.” This year’s “Big Feat” Walk will take place Sunday, Oct. 4, at 1 p.m.

Hospice of the Good Shepard: An extraordinary agency

When a person is ill and faced with a difficult chronic disease or any serious illness, there is a positive and prudent solution regarding their care. The Hospice of the Good Shepard, a circle of caring, is an extremely compassionate, remarkable, angelic agency. The nurses, the social workers, the chaplain, the home health aides, are all highly professional, knowledgeable and experienced with a deep sense of dedication and commitment. There is a special feeling of safety and security when one is in the hands of these amazing and outstanding people. I feel very fortunate and blessed despite my difficult illness to be a patient of the Hospice of the Good Shepard, Circle of Caring located 2042 Beacon St., Newton, MA.

90-year-old sculptor's art aired anew
Siblings honor mom at hospice
By Irene Sege | Globe Staff

Jane Meryll held up a sculpture of a fish done by her mother, Evelyn Raphel, 90, at her mother's assisted living facility. Meryll and brother Stephen Kaplan, left, coordinated the program. (Globe Staff Photo / Pat Greenhouse)

Several of the 60 people who filled the common room at Chestnut Park, an assisted living residence in Brighton's Cleveland Circle, parked their walkers beside them, and another half-dozen left them folded in the corridor outside. The 90-year-old guest of honor - dressed impeccably in a white blouse, black and white beads, black vest, and black slacks - sat in her wheelchair.

For an hour yesterday, the years melted away as Evelyn Raphel's two children hosted an exhibit of 14 sculptures she created over almost a quarter of a century in Florida after she retired from the clothing business. In an event as much about family as about art, her daughter and son introduced her work: the face carved in a block of onyx, the pink alabaster swan, the elegant woman shaped from black stone that reminds Raphel's daughter of the Italian artist Amedeo Modigliani.

Playing piano and guitar, they led their mother's neighbors in some of her favorite songs, including "You Are My Sunshine," "Mack the Knife," and "If I Had a Hammer," which Raphel's son remembered leading for his Jewish youth group back in the 1960s.

"I'm just overwhelmed," Raphel said when it was over. Life returns to normal today, with Raphel expected at Chestnut Park's weekly current events discussion group.

The twice-widowed Raphel had hesitated when the chaplain of the Hospice of the Good Shepherd, which provides her services, suggested the exhibition. "Now I'm beginning to feel good about it and think it's so wonderful that I'm beginning to feel proud of myself," Raphel said in an interview.

Raphel moved to Chestnut Park in 2004 after the death of her second husband, and enrolled in the hospice program last summer to minimize hospitalizations. "She wants to die in her home," her daughter, Jane Meryll of Mamaroneck, N.Y., said in an interview. Raphel suffers from arthritis and the overall decline of old age; the medication she takes to manage pain has weakened her voice.

Yesterday's exhibit capped - and encapsulated - a lifelong interest in the arts that began when Raphel, who grew up in Roxbury, accompanied her mother to the Museum of Fine Arts. Raphel took art classes there and as an adult studied painting at night. She loved decorating the windows at Ernstein's, the Uphams Corner clothing store she inherited from her parents, and at the Dainty Dress Shoppe she and her first husband bought in Mattapan Square.

Shortly before she retired, Raphel tried working with wood and chicken wire in adult education courses at Brookline High School. When she and her second husband moved to Florida in 1975, Raphel took up sculpting with a passion. "I always felt that I was able to copy what I saw," Raphel said. "The minute I started working with stone or clay, I felt altogether different. I was working from the inside out."

Raphel set up a studio and taught sculpture. She sold pieces to her neighbors in Boynton Beach, Fla., one of whom now lives in Chestnut Park and who stood up yesterday to say that she owned a beautiful piece of a couple embracing in ecstasy. "I did a lot of that kind of thing," Raphel said, eliciting laughter from the group. "They sold very well."

Many years have passed since Raphel used to sneak cigarettes outside Girls Latin School. Many years have passed, too, since Raphel and her teenage daughter clashed in their Newton home. That daughter is 65 now. Meryll sees in her elderly mother's gnarled hands the once nimble fingers of the expert seamstress who 58 years ago showed her a piece of blue velvet one morning and asked what kind of dress she wanted. "In the afternoon I had a dress," Meryll said.

If yesterday was cause for celebrating a long life, then it also provided an occasion for healing. Meryll and her brother, Stephen Kaplan of Needham, were estranged from each other for a decade for reasons neither explicates. "There was a painful decision many many years ago to excommunicate ourselves," said Kaplan, 61. "It wasn't the right thing to do."

The two siblings have been rebuilding their connection for the past half-dozen years. Yesterday marked the first time they've played music together. "This is a momentous moment for the two of us," Meryll said. "It's almost like a God moment."

Raphel's children attribute their musical abilities to their late father, who played piano and participated in shows at Temple Shalom in Newton. Meryll is a professional singer and pianist who teaches music and coaches people through performance anxiety. Kaplan, an attorney, played in a rock band with friends in the 1970s.

Raphel heard in her children's performance the promise that their relationship will outlive her. Asked what she'll remember most about the event, she said, "That it brought my children together."

© Copyright 2009 Globe Newspaper Company.

A Good Age: Hospice can help with the long goodbye

QUINCY- Three weeks after my father died, I received a letter from the hospice that provided his end-of-life care. Over four days, hospice had guided us both through our goodbyes and made sure he was comfortable and not in pain. He died March 9 at age 96.

When I selected Hospice of Rochester Lifetime Care in Rochester, N.Y., the social worker told me hospice is there for families after someone dies. Most people don’t take advantage of this for several months.

The letter gave me the name of a hospice in Greater Boston and explained the grief process that lay ahead, calling it possibly “the hardest work you’ll ever do.”

Many people have been advising me about the grief. “It will be hard.” “Focus on all the good memories.” “He is at peace.” “No regrets.” “He lived a good, long life.”

To be truthful, I do have regrets – second guessing – about some of my decisions, but that will ease. I don’t spend a lot of time with the good memories quite yet, but I will. Age 96 is long, but I wanted more.

Time heals. Here are some lessons learned along the way:

Look for good advice where you can find it. At my health club, I know a hospice nurse, a geriatric case manager and other women who’ve been long-distance caregivers.

Susan Zorb, the nurse with Hospice of the Good Shepherd in Newton, brought me a booklet explaining what happens physically and emotionally as the body prepares to die – how the systems begin to shut down, even several months before. Her advice: Don’t force him to eat. Appetite loss is natural.

Kate Ryan, a nurse with Cranberry Hospice in Plymouth, sent another helpful booklet and reinforced my sense I should stop pushing my dad to do more than he felt comfortable.

Because of both, I made good decisions more easily.

The geriatric case manager reassured me last July that the plan I had worked out with an assisted-living residence affiliated with a skilled nursing home was a good one.

Emotional support comes in unexpected places. Customer service reps at phone companies, utilities and the post office were so empathetic when I had to keep changing accounts and addresses. Those little moments of sharing during hectic days were uplifting.

A doctor friend told me: “No matter how much you were prepared for it, you’re not. So up and down you’ll go, and weird it will be, but that’s all part of the process, I guess. And when that’s all done, he’ll be more stably in your heart forever. ”

I don’t really know if my dad believed in an afterlife. Near the end, I told him wherever he was going, I would be with him eventually.

“That’s the mystery,” another friend advised. “No one knows. But I believe the afterlife is all the memories we leave behind, the things we gave to others during our life.”

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Local Hospice Opens One of a Kind Library

On April 8th, 2008, Circle of Caring at Hospice of the Good Shepherd officially opened its Resource Library and Remembrance Room. These two unique spaces are now available to community members looking for guidance as they face life’s transitions.  The Hospice welcomed over 50 people to the Grand Opening, including Newton Mayor David Cohen, a supporter of the Hospice for 30 years, who led the ribbon cutting ceremony with several representatives from the Newton-Needham Chamber of Commerce.

The evening was emotional for many in attendance, including Tim Braceland, Chair of the Chamber of Commerce who spoke openly to the group about his personal experiences with hospice and the special care his family received. The Hospice was proud to welcome internationally renowned scholar, Sandra Bertman, Distinguished Professor of Thanatology and Arts at the National Center for Death Education Mount Ida College, who moved the audience with her reading from a children’s book about memory, loss and hope. To conclude the evening, Rabbi Carol Glass, Hospice of the Good Shepherd’s Spiritual Care Coordinator, led the audience in a ritual to dedicate the Remembrance Room.

The Resource Library is the home to a full collection of books, music and movies for children, adults and community professionals to enjoy at the Library or at home. The first of its kind in the area, the Library is a space for people to find solace and comfort through the words and voices of others and gain access to important resources about death, dying and bereavement.

To Rabbi Carol Glass, the Remembrance Room is a space “dedicated to that which deepens our experience and makes life meaningful, real, rich and beyond ordinary.” It is a peaceful space containing plants, a tranquility fountain, art and panels listing the names of each individual who has died while being served by the Hospice of the Good Shepherd since its inception 30 years ago.

These new rooms, made possible by a generous donation from the Middlesex Savings Charitable Foundation of Natick, are part of the Circle of Caring at Hospice of the Good Shepherd’s Center for Life Transitions which offers a variety of educational and supportive services to the community. Circle of Caring at Hospice of the Good Shepherd is a non-profit, non-sectarian, community-based homecare agency that has been providing quality end-of-life care to people living with terminal illnesses and their lived ones since its inception in 1978. As the first hospice in Massachusetts, the Hospice of the Good Shepherd is currently honoring its 30 year tradition of caring for the community.

Sandra Bertman, Distinguished Professor of Thanatology and Arts, at the National Center for Death Education, Mount Ida College checks a book out of Circle of Caring at Hospice of the Good Shepherd’s Resource Library.

Ribbon cutting marking the opening of Circle of Caring at Hospice of the Good Shepherd’s Resource Library and Remembrance Room. Newton’s Mayor, David Cohen pictured with representatives from the Newton-Needham Chamber of Commerce and members of the Hospice Board of Directors.

Circle of Caring at Hospice of the Good Shepherd is a 501 © 3 non-profit organization.
Our Federal Tax ID number is 04-2655734. Donations are fully deductible to the extent permitted by IRS guidelines.